Writing is revelation of "truth" of the writer. Writing in a public domain is equivalent to standing nude in front of the class - there's no way to hide "you" in anything you write. It's all out there, whether or not it's fiction. The more I tried to stay away from revealing myself, the more difficult the project became. My written work may not always be good, but it's always honest, with the "truth" of my beliefs at the time it's written. My perspective and beliefs emerge, even when I'm writing fictional stories. Once, I let go of the idea of trying to hide behind fiction, the words flowed. Part of the project was devoted to my writing process and my insecurities about writing.
Instead of trying to hide, I threw it all out there. I opened the story with a video of my screen while typing the opening lines. Chapter 3 is wholly about my writing and revealing it to the world or, to WRT2, which is like "the world" to me at the moment. Only, my character has a lot more fun than I did! The closing scene is a video of my screen while typing the end of the story. I knew the idea for the end, but the video was a window to my words as they were born. I left my errors and backspacing/corrections in as well. It's the rough/first/final draft of the closing - for all the world to see!
For my character, Mae, I wanted to show growth/transformation from beginning to end. I wanted to show her living life, going along and thinking everything is perfect, only to find out that it was a lie. (I love how this ties into narrative inquiry - truth, from different perspectives) I wanted to show her broken, because I've been broken. I wanted to show her struggling to piece it all back together, because I have struggled. I wanted to show her rising and falling, stumbling and getting back up; because that has been my experience. I wanted to show her insecurities, because I have been insecure - about my parenting, my relationships, my writing, and especially, this project. I wanted to show her exposed, because I am exposed. And finally, I wanted to show that she emerged stronger for all of it, because I am stronger. Mae moved from powerless victim, to knowing that power and choice lie within. I left her final "decision" up to the reader, transferring that power to the reader.
As for the sarcasm and music. Well, these are two things that are near and dear to me. I am sarcastic, and I use sarcasm for fun and when I'm annoyed. It's an outlet. I also used music throughout the project because music has always been an important element in my life. As far back as I can remember, music has been an outlet for me. I've always used music/lyrics to enhance my emotional state: to lift me up, to increase my joy when I'm happy, or to let me wallow in sorrow when I'm sad. Music and wine, music and dancing, music and friends, music and me - it all works. There is a song for every memory or every emotion I've ever had. I felt it was important to include music since it has been such an important element in my life.
This project has forced me out of my writing comfort zone. It has forced me to be reflexive (again, just loving the connections) on my life and my writing. I had to shift perspective and bend in order to complete it. I had to recognize the many sides of myself in order to write from different perspectives. I had to recognize how others viewed me as well. I sort of divided up aspects of myself and infused them into the characters. I am Kate's sarcasm and bravado, Mae's insecurity, stumbling, emotional train wreck, and Dan's politeness, fun, easy ways. Unfortunately for everyone who knows me, I'm all those things at once - and none of the above, depends on my mood. They never know what they're getting.
If nothing else, Twitterive has been a growth process. And I feel that, no matter how painful it's been, it was worth it.
Now, how to put all this rambling nonsense into a coherent prologue?