Blood * From * Stone, LLC
Attorneys at Law
123 Forfeiture Street
Bankrupt You, NJ 00000
March 6, 1998
Anthony Marino
Mae Alosi
22 Starry Eye Lane
Young and Dumb, NJ 12345
RE: Proposed Pre-Nuptial Agreement
Dear Mr. Marino and Ms. Alosi,
Please review the proposed pre-nuptial agreement in accordance with verbal agreements made between the parties on this date. Upon acceptance of all stipulations set-forth in the contractual agreement, you may sign and return the agreement to our office. Should you require alterations to any of the stipulation(s), please contact our office for further consultation.*
Also, take notice that the attached agreement must be returned to our office thirty days prior to your scheduled matrimonial commencement date.
Should you have cause to inquire further regarding the attached agreement, please contact our office at 666-666-0000.*
Yours for a fee,
Lastdrop O. Blood, Esquire
*NOTE: Consultation fee of $550 per 1/10th hour interval or first born.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Pre-Nuptial Agreement
Between
Mae Alosi
And
Anthony Marino
Please take note that hereinafter Mae Alosi shall be referred to as the party of the first part, and Anthony Marino shall be referred to as the party of the second part. The parties shall agree to the stipulations set forth with regard to proposed contractual partnership no less than ten calendar days prior to commencement of the matrimonial service scheduled to take place on April 1, 1998.
I. Both parties shall agree to exhibit emotionally appealing characteristics[1] towards the other which shall provide psychological security and maintain a supportive environment for the stability of the partnership.
II. Both parties shall refrain from engaging in activities[2] with persons outside the matrimonial partnership which would threaten the validity and perpetuity of said contract, making the partnership voidable upon decision of a court of law[3].
III. The party of the first part hereby agrees to engage in sexual intercourse with the party of the second part in accordance with the following schedule which shall depreciate annually beginning the first day of the fifth year of said partnership:
Year One: The party of the first part shall perform said duties no less than six calendar days per week; see exemptions as outlined in Appendix A.
Beginning the first day of the fifth year, and each year thereafter – the party of the first part shall be relieved of said obligation as outlined above in accordance with the following schedule: For each subsequent year the partnership remains intact, the party of the first part shall be relieved of obligation one day per calendar week until commencement of the twelfth year, whereupon the obligation shall be diminished to one day per calendar month, and on days of special observance such as anniversary of said contract or birth date of the party of the second part.[4]
IV. The party of the first part shall agree to maintain the primary residence of the partners in an acceptable manner, including but not limited to, laundering and pressing attire in a timely manner, removing debris from floor coverings, disinfecting lavatory facilities, and removing dust and dirt particles from all furnishings and other surfaces on a weekly schedule.
V. The party of the second part shall agree to remove all refuse from the receptacles within the residence on a daily schedule or at such time as the refuse container can no longer accept additional matter, whichever occurs first. Furthermore, the party of the second part shall agree to place all refuse in the designated area outside the residence on such collection dates as dictated by the municipal authorities.
VI. The party of the second part shall agree to be solely responsible for all agricultural duties, including but not limited to: removal of any crystallized vapors[5] which shall inhibit the use of any part or parcel of the personal residence of the parties, retaining indigenous lawn vegetation to a height of no more than eight centimeters, removal of perennial woody plant debris[6] due to cyclical environmental factors[7], and any additional maintenance required to maintain the property in an aesthetically appealing state.
VII. The party of the second part shall agree to refrain from leaving personal items around the residence in places that would be deemed inappropriate by societal standards, including but not limited to: such items as foot attire and coverings, neckwear, attaché cases, and tableware suited for beverages and food substances.
VIII. The party of the second part shall agree to secure and maintain respectable and lucrative employment. All income derived from said employment shall be deposited directly into a joint bank account. The party of the first part shall have access to all income secured by the party of the second part and shall enjoy sole discretion as to spending considerations. The party of the first part shall not be required to secure employment outside the home as such employment may inhibit her ability to fulfill requirements contained in Sections III through IV of this agreement.
Both parties shall agree to the aforementioned stipulations and affirm that they will be mutually bound in said partnership upon promulgation of said partnership until such time as either party ceases to exist or either party seeks nullification of said partnership through judicial relief in accordance with the laws of the State of New Jersey.
Appendix A - Exemptions to Paragraph IV:
Cranial discomfort, motivational disorders, any physiological or psychological disorder which shall inhibit said performance. NOTE: No implied warranty as to the effectiveness or enjoyment of said performance is guaranteed, notwithstanding the aforementioned exemptions, dissatisfaction shall not provide leave for either party to breach Section II of the contract herewith.
In witness whereof on this _______ day of __________ , in the Year of Our Lord, Two Thousand and Eleven.
_____________ ______________
Mae Alosi Witness
Affix Seal and Fingerprint
_____________ ______________
Anthony Marino Witness
Affix Seal and Fingerprint
Sworn and Subscribed before me
This day of , 2011
_______________________
Notary Public, State of NJ
[1] Love and Affection
[2] Sexual Intercourse
[3] Divorce Court
[4] Consult Appendix A for Exemptions
[5] Snow
[6] Leaves
[7] Autumn
Attorneys at Law
123 Forfeiture Street
Bankrupt You, NJ 00000
March 6, 1998
Anthony Marino
Mae Alosi
22 Starry Eye Lane
Young and Dumb, NJ 12345
RE: Proposed Pre-Nuptial Agreement
Dear Mr. Marino and Ms. Alosi,
Please review the proposed pre-nuptial agreement in accordance with verbal agreements made between the parties on this date. Upon acceptance of all stipulations set-forth in the contractual agreement, you may sign and return the agreement to our office. Should you require alterations to any of the stipulation(s), please contact our office for further consultation.*
Also, take notice that the attached agreement must be returned to our office thirty days prior to your scheduled matrimonial commencement date.
Should you have cause to inquire further regarding the attached agreement, please contact our office at 666-666-0000.*
Yours for a fee,
Lastdrop O. Blood, Esquire
*NOTE: Consultation fee of $550 per 1/10th hour interval or first born.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Pre-Nuptial Agreement
Between
Mae Alosi
And
Anthony Marino
Please take note that hereinafter Mae Alosi shall be referred to as the party of the first part, and Anthony Marino shall be referred to as the party of the second part. The parties shall agree to the stipulations set forth with regard to proposed contractual partnership no less than ten calendar days prior to commencement of the matrimonial service scheduled to take place on April 1, 1998.
I. Both parties shall agree to exhibit emotionally appealing characteristics[1] towards the other which shall provide psychological security and maintain a supportive environment for the stability of the partnership.
II. Both parties shall refrain from engaging in activities[2] with persons outside the matrimonial partnership which would threaten the validity and perpetuity of said contract, making the partnership voidable upon decision of a court of law[3].
III. The party of the first part hereby agrees to engage in sexual intercourse with the party of the second part in accordance with the following schedule which shall depreciate annually beginning the first day of the fifth year of said partnership:
Year One: The party of the first part shall perform said duties no less than six calendar days per week; see exemptions as outlined in Appendix A.
Beginning the first day of the fifth year, and each year thereafter – the party of the first part shall be relieved of said obligation as outlined above in accordance with the following schedule: For each subsequent year the partnership remains intact, the party of the first part shall be relieved of obligation one day per calendar week until commencement of the twelfth year, whereupon the obligation shall be diminished to one day per calendar month, and on days of special observance such as anniversary of said contract or birth date of the party of the second part.[4]
IV. The party of the first part shall agree to maintain the primary residence of the partners in an acceptable manner, including but not limited to, laundering and pressing attire in a timely manner, removing debris from floor coverings, disinfecting lavatory facilities, and removing dust and dirt particles from all furnishings and other surfaces on a weekly schedule.
V. The party of the second part shall agree to remove all refuse from the receptacles within the residence on a daily schedule or at such time as the refuse container can no longer accept additional matter, whichever occurs first. Furthermore, the party of the second part shall agree to place all refuse in the designated area outside the residence on such collection dates as dictated by the municipal authorities.
VI. The party of the second part shall agree to be solely responsible for all agricultural duties, including but not limited to: removal of any crystallized vapors[5] which shall inhibit the use of any part or parcel of the personal residence of the parties, retaining indigenous lawn vegetation to a height of no more than eight centimeters, removal of perennial woody plant debris[6] due to cyclical environmental factors[7], and any additional maintenance required to maintain the property in an aesthetically appealing state.
VII. The party of the second part shall agree to refrain from leaving personal items around the residence in places that would be deemed inappropriate by societal standards, including but not limited to: such items as foot attire and coverings, neckwear, attaché cases, and tableware suited for beverages and food substances.
VIII. The party of the second part shall agree to secure and maintain respectable and lucrative employment. All income derived from said employment shall be deposited directly into a joint bank account. The party of the first part shall have access to all income secured by the party of the second part and shall enjoy sole discretion as to spending considerations. The party of the first part shall not be required to secure employment outside the home as such employment may inhibit her ability to fulfill requirements contained in Sections III through IV of this agreement.
Both parties shall agree to the aforementioned stipulations and affirm that they will be mutually bound in said partnership upon promulgation of said partnership until such time as either party ceases to exist or either party seeks nullification of said partnership through judicial relief in accordance with the laws of the State of New Jersey.
Appendix A - Exemptions to Paragraph IV:
Cranial discomfort, motivational disorders, any physiological or psychological disorder which shall inhibit said performance. NOTE: No implied warranty as to the effectiveness or enjoyment of said performance is guaranteed, notwithstanding the aforementioned exemptions, dissatisfaction shall not provide leave for either party to breach Section II of the contract herewith.
In witness whereof on this _______ day of __________ , in the Year of Our Lord, Two Thousand and Eleven.
_____________ ______________
Mae Alosi Witness
Affix Seal and Fingerprint
_____________ ______________
Anthony Marino Witness
Affix Seal and Fingerprint
Sworn and Subscribed before me
This day of , 2011
_______________________
Notary Public, State of NJ
[1] Love and Affection
[2] Sexual Intercourse
[3] Divorce Court
[4] Consult Appendix A for Exemptions
[5] Snow
[6] Leaves
[7] Autumn